Sober Christian Lifestyle

THE AD:

$450 House to Share (Florence, Kentucky) (map)

---

I am looking for a male or female to share my home in Florence, Kentucky. I live a sober christian lifestyle and would like to find a roomate who lives the same. I am renting out part of the lower level of my home. There is one bedroom, bathroom and living room area. There is another furnished spare bedroom on that level if you happen to have visiting children or grandchildren. Nice yard with gazebo and firepit. There is a park directly behind the house with swings and slides. S450. a month includes utilities..

THE REAL STORY:

I am looking for one of God's chosen (please no Muslims, or Jews) to share my home in Florence, Kentucky. I live a dull life where I spend my days putting together Thomas Kinkade puzzles and listening to my extensive collection of "WOW" cds. Even though the lord is always with me I still get lonely and am looking for a roommate to experience God's love with. The lower level of my house has one of each of the following: bedroom, bathroom, and living room. There's no kitchen, but it's ok. Jesus survived 40 days in the desert without food so I'm sure you can too. Remember when I said there was only one bedroom? I may have fibbed a little(don't worry God already forgave me). Actually, there is a whole second bedroom on that level that guests can stay in and by guest I mean only children or grandchildren. Parents coming to town? Tell ‘em to get a hotel. Friends coming over? Due to our zero alcohol policy they'll always be sober enough to drive home. There's a fire pit outside that you can use anytime you sin and need a reminder of what Hell will be like. Also, there is a park behind our house with not only swings but. . . . SLIDES!!!!!!!!! Hallelujah, swings and slides in one convenient location. Truly God is great! $450 a month includes eternal salvation.